scary aint it?
anyhow-- here i am... not for long tho-- i just wanted to jump on and say hello. i haven't had five seconds to spend on this thing since the hospital.
i have a brilliant husband , btw, just so you know.
he did some troubleshooting last night-- trying to figure out why i seemed to be doing somewhat better on discharge-- and then suddenly--BOOM!!!
ready to go back to the ER with pain again. the same body seering, tear inducing, whine and "i can't breathe let me kill myself " pain--- back with a vengeance. for hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours. it was torture.
and i'd take pill after pill... then i'd get sick and puke.. it got to where i had to stop the pain meds and have none at all rather than risk the horribleness that is barfing into a bowl in front of my husband.
speaking of he who is so brilliant---
on his troubleshooting list was the only three things that has changed since leaving the hospital were... i had smoked a few cigs... couldn't be it... or could it?
i hadn't eaten.. but that alone wouldn't cause such awful pain?.. would it?
aha! says doctah soulman... the steroid shots !!! they stopped them. therefore-- low bp-- more pain-- etc-- etc etc....
wow. so i start slammin roids-- who cares if i expload--if it helps the pain..right..and the puking... and i eat.. and live.. and all that jazz...
40mg here.. 20 mg there...30mg here... i bet i took 150-200 mg between yesterday afternoon and today--- but it's helping.
so anways you all are the most kick ass people i know !!
i apologize for not bein able to get around i just haven't been able to. this really is the worst most horrible awful pain i have ever experienced in my life---- for real. the--- worst. worst than the last time i said that. yep-- this tops it all. and i have had lots of and different kinds of pain... this is trophy material.
ahh-- one more thing before i hang up on you, cuz yep-- i'm fixin ta fall out---
it aint nuthin like House, when you're goin through somethin like that...
and ya look in your hubbys face right after the doc says-- blood clot in your lung--pulmonary embolism . no lazer lights and cool zappy sounds.. no looks of you've done it dr.. you've saved the patient! it's not anything like that at all.
seeing the nurse and doc today at different times, and each being in awe that i had lived, really was a wake up call. hubby stopped for demerol and mac n cheese on the way home-- and i had him get some nicotine gum while he was at it.
unfortunately, it was the pain med that the damn pharmacy had run out of... rather that the nic gum, or the mac n cheese..or something else-- so now i have to decide if i dare risk vicodin again, and maybe puke-- or wait maybe as late as tomorrow for the demerol. damn what a pickle.
someone needs to come cook me some mac n cheese-- hubby was late for work and had to go. :((
i'm hungray.
any y'all.. i hope to run around and catch up tomorrow--
g'night folks--
